People at your office Christmas party volume II
NB: Usual disclaimer applies. All characters are generic works of fiction belonging to personas you might find at any office function, and are in no way depictions of real people. Also, this year’s edition is substantially worse, not to mention more offensive than last year’s, so I strongly encourage all readers to turn away now.
Bitcoin Kevin
Bitcoin Kevin’s here to punish hors d’oeuvres and give out unsolicited financial advice, and it looks like we’re fresh out of party pies. Hiding behind the facade of a real life Roald Dahl illustration, he lures unsuspecting patrons in with a guise of good intentions. But little do they know, behind the scraggly beard and fatherly beer gut, lurks a mid-life crisis and 8 hours of deleted internet history. Ask Kevin what the difference is between blockchain and cryptocurrency, and he’ll tell you you’re missing the point. The point being that you should devote your entire life savings and spare time to a valueless form of internet money, of which 99% has been mined by a small Chinese boy cable-tied to a hamster wheel. Towards the end of the night, you’ll find Kevin hovering outside various social circles like a double parked taxi. Utterly convinced he’s providing a helpful service, while really just being a massive cunt.