People at your Office Christmas Party (Volume I)

Sampling the dregs of the annual corporate soiree

NB: All characters are generic works of fiction belonging to personas you might find at any office function, and are in no way depictions of real people.

Intern Jesse

Intern Jesse can’t believe his luck. After emerging victorious from a selection process rivaling the Hunger games, which left a swathe of other young nerds dead at his feet, he’s finally made it. And while he may be a glorified coffee bitch earning less than minimum wage, Jesse couldn’t be happier right now. Beer in one hand, party pie in the other, he stands transfixed at the bar like Charlie in the Chocolate Factory, if Charlie was played by an overweight 20 year old with shit facial hair. The work Christmas function serves as a fork in the road for any young intern, and Jesse is no different. The prevailing cry of common sense tells him he should treat this as a networking event, rubbing shoulders with important people and keeping himself to a polite level of intoxication. This is immediately drowned out by an even louder voice, insisting that the best way to impress his senior peers is to show them how hard he can sink. Jesse’s colleagues are amused by his antics for a short while, force-feeding him drinks like the suckling pig that he is. But after…